May 2008 
May 3 2008 Half thoughts
Posted on May 15th, 2008
by 
Mikkie
Mikkie
Why have I lost hope in mankind. If I have hope and belief in my friends?
We can not live on dreams. So why do we shape our world with them?
How can we be so different in our dreams than how we are in reality if we are the same person?
How can one single small thing that's so over look effect our lives so dramatically. But never draw another's eye?
What is happiness?
Leave it to a six year old to leave me speechless. It took me to long to answer her. Leaving more disturbed than I believed.
Why do I retreat to the past? What is in it that can answer the stirrings in my mind? I can not change it. What is the point in being troubled at things that I can not undo?
How could I delusied myself so much? I have eyes, why do they not work? Or am I doing it on purpose? Who doesn't want a shinier world?
Why do I daydream if I'm in love with my life?
Why do I daydream of having conversations with my friends about death, my past, life and so on?
Why do I daydream of seeking mental health? When I do not believe there is anything wrong with me? Maybe I just want to see how deep the scars run?
So much burns within? How can you not see? Or they do see and tell me about it in other ways? What do they see when they look at me? What do their eyes see? The flames burn brighter, if I have all this then WHY I am I living in disorder?! Should I just be grateful? I have all this and more? I have the passion, drive, but no path to set me feet down on. Why? I know where I want to go so why do I am I without a path?
*Sigh*
When you see me stare off, these are some of the things that race though my mind. Thats why I say "nothing". I will not find answers to these questions. Let me live my life and it will work out. I must live to answer them. That seems like the only way.
We can not live on dreams. So why do we shape our world with them?
How can we be so different in our dreams than how we are in reality if we are the same person?
How can one single small thing that's so over look effect our lives so dramatically. But never draw another's eye?
What is happiness?
Leave it to a six year old to leave me speechless. It took me to long to answer her. Leaving more disturbed than I believed.
Why do I retreat to the past? What is in it that can answer the stirrings in my mind? I can not change it. What is the point in being troubled at things that I can not undo?
How could I delusied myself so much? I have eyes, why do they not work? Or am I doing it on purpose? Who doesn't want a shinier world?
Why do I daydream if I'm in love with my life?
Why do I daydream of having conversations with my friends about death, my past, life and so on?
Why do I daydream of seeking mental health? When I do not believe there is anything wrong with me? Maybe I just want to see how deep the scars run?
So much burns within? How can you not see? Or they do see and tell me about it in other ways? What do they see when they look at me? What do their eyes see? The flames burn brighter, if I have all this then WHY I am I living in disorder?! Should I just be grateful? I have all this and more? I have the passion, drive, but no path to set me feet down on. Why? I know where I want to go so why do I am I without a path?
*Sigh*
When you see me stare off, these are some of the things that race though my mind. Thats why I say "nothing". I will not find answers to these questions. Let me live my life and it will work out. I must live to answer them. That seems like the only way.
Access: Public
